Bad Decisions With Good Friends

Prefer to be read to?  Have a listen instead. 

 

Sometimes, it’s the bad decisions that lead us down the path we’re meant to tread. The path leading to connection, inspiration, reflection, and just simple ice cream bowls of happiness.

 

This week, as I tried to record the audio version of my book, I struggled to ward off unending noisy interruptions.

 

The interruptions started with my cat Tino.

 

She had all friggin day to explore the fort-like recording studio I had built using a mattress, spare pillows, and large, blue, square cushions I removed from my living room furniture. These propped up nicely against the walls in my spare bedroom and served their purpose – to absorb noise.

 

Unless, of course, that noise came from my cat.

 

Intrusive noises, caught in the mic, a mic which also caught my exasperated sighs and maybe a tiny swear word or two.

 

These are her sounds:

 

• Clawing frantically at the propped-up mattress and then scampering away.
• Leaping onto the bedframe and meowing loudly AT me. And then scampering away.
• Craftily using her paws to pull open a cupboard door, and releasing it so that it slams shut. Repeatedly.

 

Kicking her out of the room I am trying to record in is only met with more clawing and perturbed meows, insisting that I open the door.

 

What does Tino need?

 

She needs nothing. She wants my attention.

 

So, I close my computer and I proceed to give this furry creature my attention for a few minutes until she decides to ignore me, and I safely return to work.

 

I sat back down at the desk where I had propped up my mic, set alight the citronella candles to deter mosquitoes, and proceeded to read and record one solid chapter of my book.

 

Satisfied, I checked the time and realized, dismayed, that I hadn’t actually hit “Record”.

 

In the silence I had finally obtained from my cat, I had spent 30 minutes reading but recording nothing.

 

Cue a text lighting up my phone a few minutes later, which was silently perched on a corner of the desk.

 

“Want a glass of wine?” a friend on the other end wrote.

 

Well. It was 6:30 pm. Besides interruptions from my cat, I kept hearing the revving of motorbikes outside and was quietly wondering if my mic was collecting these outdoor street sounds.

 

It also happens to be a holiday week here in Nicaragua, so the laughter and music and loud-ish banter were also a noise I hoped my living room cushions were absorbing.

 

As for other noisy interruptions, it has been a rainy week. While the rain wasn’t pelting down outside now, it did mean that a choir of frogs had begun performing their incessant ribbit-ing in hopes of a night of froggy love. It is worth a blog post one day to write about the deafening cacophony of jungle frogs in the mating season after a good rain. Would the mic pick up their serenade?

 

Just then, Tino returned, announcing herself in the doorway with a question for me. MEOW?

 

And that was all I needed.

 

“Yep”. I texted back. “Let’s get wine.”

 

Maybe 20 minutes later, I found myself pouring a glass of cabernet sauvignon and dishing out Trix Cookies ice cream, into two crystal bowls. (What is Trix ice cream, you ask? It’s not a sweet fruity cereal down here, and if you know, you know.)

 

My friend and I tipped our glasses towards each other over our bowls of delight and toasted: “to bad decisions with good friends” then proceeded to dive elbow deep into ice cream conversations about life, our trials and tribulations, our judgments, and the meticulous mapping of our goals.

 

Sipping wine, and offering Tino sneaky tastes of ice cream under the table, we talked. We dove in headfirst, questioning some choices, validating others, and enjoying the spontaneous unhealthy mid-week dinner, which, admittedly is a perk amongst the childless and single.

 

When 7:30 came around, my friend bounced home. We split the remainder of the wine before she left, and I sat back down to work.

 

“Work”. Writing and reading and recording is not work to me, and I may even sit for long hours into the night, creating, flowing, aiming to both express things I am going through and hone my skills in expressing them.

 

I always want to be better.

 

Is this why we cheered to “bad decisions with good friends”?

 

Becoming “better” at something doesn’t usually start by abandoning your post to orchestrate a spontaneous drive to the shop for red wine and sweets.

 

The “teacher” and “boss” parts of me lean heavily into the perspective that bailing on my structured and disciplined routine to instead hang with a friend and chat, drink wine and enjoy ice cream – these might be judged as “bad” decisions because they aren’t necessarily steps on the path to success.

 

Or are they?

 

One thing I know about myself is this: I need structured discipline and wild abandon in equal parts.

 

I know that if I religiously followed a societal-approved focus, at least during the week, and eliminated distractions, perhaps I would be more successful in some ways.

 

Maybe I would be richer. Maybe I would have a lengthy waiting list for clients. Maybe I would have more books in publication by now. Maybe I’d have fame and fortune and fancier clothes.

 

But I would only be half-filling my cup.

 

These “bad decisions” we toasted to – they are great decisions, actually. They are valuable good times with good friends (and good cats) in moments of need and frustration, even if I am delaying my workload for a short time.

 

And actually, Tino, as intrusive as she can be, brings me so much joy. She’s hilarious. You long-time readers will nod and smile at this admittance, and at my failed resistance to identifying as a cat person.

 

In hindsight, Tino’s distractions on this evening paved the way for me to feel frustrated with my lack of productivity, which then allowed my friend’s text to be welcomed, rather than shut down.

 

So . . . . friends, wine and ice cream served more than taking my time and giving me calories. The pairing of these indulgences turned into a vibrant and heart-strong chat about life, self-compassion, and deeper insights into what we each personally need in life, what we are searching for, and what we allow ourselves to enjoy.

 

Following our feelings, not our fear, but our true feelings (and it’s important to know the difference) is the best thing anyone can ever do for themselves to feel truly happy.

 

Structure, discipline, and goals – these are unquestionably important qualities for anyone with a vision to adhere to, and I wouldn’t be where I am without employing these in my day to day.

 

But spontaneity, indulgences, leaning into real-life opportunities for connection, for fun, and for desserts, saying yes to these experiences is also why I believe I am where I am today.

 

I believe this as a traveler, a writer, an educator, an entrepreneur, a coach, and a seeker of experiences that connect me to good-hearted people in life-enriching ways.

 

As one in the hot pursuit of living life in a way that matters to me.

 

Even if it means abandoning my workstation on a school night to have wine and ice cream with a dear friend – those moments are what carry me on my journey forward. I will close my computer every time and heed the call.

 

These “bad decisions” are the things that bring me the riches I seek.

 

The big things in life, the professional success, the financial comfort, and the relationship goals are all important in their shiny glory, but embracing the unexpected invitations that reroute my night and dish up good vibes and inspiration – this brings shine too.

 

Maybe I could rack up more weeks following a militant routine and early-to-bed lifestyle, and think I am more accomplished, successful, and productive.

 

But I know I need more than discipline to be truly happy with my lifestyle choices and the hill that I will die on is believing with all my heart that nothing matters more in life than seeing with open eyes the things that bring you your truest inner joy and saying YES to them, even if they disrupt your best-laid plans.

 

Connection. Empathy. Inspiration. Lightness. Fun. Say yes! Say yes to these moments that break into your routine. (Or, the moments that break into your recording studio) and embrace the joy.

 

Will I ever finish recording my book so that I can promote it as an audiobook?

 

Of course.

 

Will I continue to grow, learn, and connect in ways that truly help people?

 

Of course, I will.

 

Will Tino eventually align her naps with my “I’m working and need to focus” schedule?

 

Not likely.

 

So for now. I’ll map out my days with plans for the future. I’ll decide what I want my prize in life to be and keep my eyes on it. And, as much as I can, I will retain focus, purpose, and structure.

 

But I will also say yes to those moments of meaningful intrusion. For those “bad decisions with good friends” that interrupt my routines and my plans, and make life so lively.

 

And so lovely.