For much of my life, I tend to rush the gate. Patience is a virtue I am endlessly practicing. Moving slowly, pacing myself.
Remembering to dally. Taking my time.
Rarely this happens.
But this week especially I have been reminded in more ways than one to embrace the stillness. The past few months have been so charged with activity, that stillness is something I long for lately.
The entire year, in fact, crawled by agonizingly slow at times but also feels as if it swept past us so strikingly fast.
How is both even possible?
The turn of events that were mind-blowingly unreal, while other events – the confrontations, sudden pivots, and new connections – they feel more real than life has in some time.
Can we seek the stillness and just sit? Retrace the truth of our past and ask ourselves: Has this year been spiked with more miseries or more blessings?
What do we see when we look back over our shoulders? Perhaps we see a mix of both.
In my own year, I see moments of misery, fear, anger, frustration, grief, shame, and disappointment.
But these darker emotions, they lie like a blanket on our backs.
Heavy, yes, but blankets we can always shake off.
Underneath all of those things, those hard things we faced and felt, I also see deeper-set moments of inspiration, magic, gratitude, connection, support, love, and growth.
I suppose we could also look closer at our 2019, or 2018 and 2017, and every year that preceded this one and come to a similar conclusion. We could point out the hardships we endured while relishing all the bits of magic and joy life never seems to forget to deliver. Even through a tough year.
Now, in December, I feel like we’ve been shaken awake.
Some of us awaken moody and resentful. But many of us . . . many will see more clearly the possibility and purpose our life is about to unfold.
Finding stillness will crystalize these moments of possibility more clearly.
The stillness enables us to sink into peace, lean into gratitude, and surge with hope.
This month, perhaps our intention can be to slow down a bit. We can hold off from rushing the gate and just seek the stillness.
And in this stillness, we will always find strength. Strength of mind, strength of soul, strength of heart.
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