The Temporariness of Things

When my stepdad passed a few years ago, I bought a silver bracelet custom engraved with his and my mother’s initials: T & C.

 

I rarely took it off, unless I was afraid I’d lose it swimming, or break it when working out.

 

But then – crossing the border by foot into Costa Rica a few weeks ago – I suddenly felt an absence on my skin and realized my bracelet had broken off. I noticed as I was literally one step in Nicaragua, the next footstep into Costa Rica, and there was no turning around and going back to see if it had fallen somewhere in the dirty, busy street behind me.

 

A few weeks later, my infamous little kitty, AKA KamikazeeKitty, AKA, Tino, tried to achieve flight for the 4^th time off a balcony – this time disappearing from her fall for days, during thunderstorms, without a trace.

 

Losing what is precious to us hurts – inanimate objects we give value to for sentimental reasons, or living creatures that accompany our every days. We don’t want to lose important things that are ours.

 

The bracelet – would I have worn it for the rest of my life, even if I live to be 100? Maybe. The value of the silver I lost hurt not as much as did losing the daily reminder of my stepdad, always on my wrist, always his memory was there until in a split second it wasn’t.

 

Tino going missing broke my heart – my tiny little injured missing kitty, who always sleeps in my bed until suddenly she flew (or fell) and no longer curled up by my feet anymore.

 

In the days that followed these losses, I couldn’t help but reflect. I began thinking about each piece of jewelry I’ve lost or sadly broken over the years, and the meaning it held for me. And then my thoughts expanded to remembering the people I’ve known and lost, whose energy was a part of mine for a while, and then after a time, they were gone too.

 

What if we could always remember, and were ever mindful that everything we feel belongs to us is actually only borrowed?

 

Isn’t this true? Isn’t everything truly only ours for a limited and undetermined amount of time?

 

Our relationships, the people we are close to, personal items and the memories they carry, our beloved pets. Not one of these things is ours for all time. They never were meant to be, but we rarely consider this truth. Most of us think: my partner, my pet, my jewelry, my friends, my house, my things, my space.

 

Most of us tend to never consider that there is an unknown expiration date on all we label as “mine”.

 

Eventually, the time comes when these things no longer are with us, no longer ours. Relationships closeout, people move away, or life comes to an end. Cherished objects become lost, or stolen, or damaged and no longer shine with us.

 

This might sound a bit dismal, but really – there is a beautiful takeaway here, one that will incite us to open up to deeper joy from each thing we claim as ours.

 

I’m speaking of being mindful with our present moments, and grateful for what (and who) we have while we have them.

 

Gratitude and Presence are so simple, and so easy to action, transforming each fleeting moment into temporary treasures.

 

Wouldn’t we soak these moments up that much more if we remembered that one day we no longer could?

 

That beautiful takeaway is the power we have to shift. We can shift from perceived control and ownership of the things we hold in our hands each day, into accepting the present, temporary moment, and holding gratitude for it.

 

This shift in how we think towards all that is “ours” into all that is “ours for now” is life-changing. Makes you sit back and appreciate a bit more. Take for granted less.

 

After 2, thunderstormy days, hours-long walks and drives searching forests and ditches and the underside of stilted casitas, and sleeping with my front door open all night – Tino found her way home. Wounded and hungry, she mewed at my screen at 4am on the 3^rd day, and, letting her in, I couldn’t hug or feed or love her enough. The worry replaced by a rush of relief and gratitude. My lost kitty came back to me.

 

After 3 days in Costa Rica, I re-crossed the border and, despite the odds, set to searching the streets for my silver bracelet. I asked locals in food stalls and border security and taxi drivers, but the jewelry I bought in memory of my stepdad was, of course, gone. It’s someone else’s treasure now, and I won’t get it back.

 

Does it mean I let go of my stepdad and his memory? No. But it sucks the same. I can still feel the bracelet where it should be on my wrist, even weeks later.

 

I considered ordering another identical bracelet, with the initials engraved again – but then what would it be? Not the memory of my stepdad. Rather, it would represent how I lost something important to me and insisted I have it back, serving instead as a reminder of how much I refuse to ever let things go.

 

Had Tino not come back, would I have found myself another kitten? No way.   I’m a dog person through and through. Tino is special. 🙂

 

The only forward-moving choice I can make is to accept the temporariness of things. Remember to be present with my time.

 

And then, when that time has passed, to peacefully acknowledge what was never only mine and move on, grateful for what I had for however long it was a part of me.

 

~ Christy

 

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